Millionaires in the Making....

Tracy and David Seims Ages: 41 and 43 Goals: Amass a seven-figure net worth Fund college for their two kids Retire in their early sixties Assets: $300,000 in retirement accounts $200,000 in home equity $175,000 in business equity $67,000 in savings accounts Growing up working class near St. Louis, Tracy and David Seim hoped that education and hard work would turn them into millionaires by age 40. Well, almost. Now 41 and 43, respectively, they have a net worth just shy of $750,000 - not a mill, but a very respectable sum. Still, measuring themselves against their more free-spending friends, the Seims don’t feel flush. They wonder if they’ll be able to afford college for Gabi, 13, and Gracie, 9, a comfortable retirement and, as Tracy puts it, “some fun along the way.” The couple, who run a small company that sells industrial fasteners and other supplies, paid themselves $103,000 last year. They have no credit-card debt, have lived in the same house (worth about $300,000) for 14 years and don’t drive fancy cars. They’re so frugal compared with certain friends, in fact, that they wonder if they’re missing something. “Everybody’s passing us by,” Tracy says. “What are we doing wrong?” Where They Are Now The Seims have a total of $300,000 in retirement accounts, and they max out their Simple IRAs, adding $10,500 each last year. They’ve also been diligently salting away money for their daughters’ education - $52,000 so far, stashed mostly in custodial UTMA (Uniform Transfers to Minors Act) accounts, to which they added $1,200 in 2006. They also have about $15,000 in bank CDs. Like most investors, Tracy and David had some setbacks. At the advice of a financial planner, they invested a rollover 401(k) from David’s previous job as a salesman into individual stocks. That was in 2000, right before the market tanked; the account lost more than a third of its value. The Seims have since switched advisers, moved their stash into blue-chip mutual funds and recovered most of their losses. “The only one who made any money was the adviser,” David laments. What They Should Do The Seims’ financial situation isn’t nearly as bad as they seem to think, says Jim Reding, a financial planner at Paradigm Wealth Advisors in Des Peres, Mo. College and a comfortable retirement on a seven-figure nest egg are well within their grasp, as long as they take some practical steps now. Fix the investment mix. The fact that they no longer hold individual stocks doesn’t mean the Seims are diversified. To avoid ups and downs and maximize returns, Reding recommends that they add funds that hold foreign stocks, mid-size growth stocks and a few other asset classes. What’s more, between the 1 percent annual fee they pay their current financial adviser and the expense ratios on the funds they own (some top 2 percent), David and Tracy are shelling out way too much. Switching to funds with lower costs would wring more profit from their portfolio. Make college savings work harder. Reding suggests that the couple open 529 plans and put new savings there. The money will grow tax deferred, and the Seims will get a state income tax deduction. To cover 75 percent of projected tuition costs, the Seims should ramp up their current rate of saving to $235 a month for Gabi and $289 a month for Gracie. Don’t judge progress by looking at other people’s stuff. Just because a neighbor owns a vacation house or drives a Jaguar doesn’t mean he’s smarter with his money: He may be living scarily above his means. The Seims need to stick to their own plan and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Assuming they make the changes that Reding suggests - including increasing their retirement saving by 3 percent a year - he predicts that the couple’s net worth will hit the $1 million mark within a decade. –By Yuval Rosenberg. This article appears in the October issue of Money Magazine. For more information, visit: http://www.robertjrussell.com

Home Pricing Strategies

Just as a football coach has a bunch of different plays to choose from and use throughout a game, you have a variety of strategies to help you determine the price of your home. No one strategy can stand alone, but used together they can narrow the best possible price for your home. Review Comparables After sizing up the landscape, comparables play the biggest role in setting the price. Considered part art, part science, "comps" are regarded as the single-best tool in determining a home's value. There are some tricks determining which comps are the best; see the article on Picking the Best Comps for help. You can view comps on your property or anyone else's on robertjrussell.com, simply by entering an address. Look at Unsold Homes Homes on the market that haven't sold yet are also a consideration, although not a strong one, since it's unproven whether the house will bring the money it's asking. But, look at the active competition. Find a home most similar to yours and find out how many days it has been on the market. You can also look for homes owned by celebrities, and benchmark against those houses. If the house has been sitting for a while (more than 30 days), you will see the market is not convinced that is the correct price for that home. Once you see the "Sold" sign, find out how much above or below the list price it sold for. This will give you a good idea of how the market is behaving and how aggressive you can be in setting a price. Use Square Foot Pricing Some neighborhoods are a mixed bag of architecture, style and size, which means if you can't find another home similar to yours, you can use square foot pricing. How? Take 3 - 5 homes as similar to yours as possible, add up the square footage and divide by the number of homes. This will give you an average per square foot for your comps. Then, add up the sold price of each home, divide by the number of homes to get the average. Lastly, divide the average sold price by the average square foot to get the average price per square foot. Once you have the average price per square foot, multiply it by your home's square footage. This is just another tool to help you price your home. Example: Step 1: Find the average sq. ft. of comps Home 1: 1,950 square feet Home 2: 2,400 square feet Home 3: 1,800 square feet Home 4: 2,050 square feet Total: 8,200 square feet 8,200 / 4 = 2,050 sq. ft. 2,050 is the average sq. ft. of your comps Step 2: Find the average price of comps Home 1: $310,000 Home 2: $410,000 Home 3: $299,000 Home 4: $325,000 Total: $1,344,000 $1,344,000 / 4 = $336,000 $336,000 is the average price of your comps Step 3: Divide the average price by the average sq. ft.: $336,000 / 2,050 = $164/per sq. ft. $164 is the average price per sq. ft. of your comps Step 4: Set the price of your home: Take $164 and multiply it by your square footage to get a price. For example, if you have a 1,975-square-foot home, multiply it by $164 (e.g., 1,975 sq. ft. x $164 = $323,900). Bingo! Your home's price: $323,900! Get a Comparative Market Analysis (CMA) If you've used the three strategies above, but still need reassurance, go to a real estate agent -- or two or three -- and ask them for a CMA. Whether you use the agent to sell your house or not, they will be more than willing to provide a CMA in hopes of getting your listing. It shouldn't cost you any money to get one. Get an Appraisal If you really need extra assurance, hire a professional appraiser. An appraiser will cost approximately $250 - $400, depending on your home size and uniqueness of the property. They will come to your home and itemize the number of rooms and amenities (e.g. swimming pool, fireplace, etc.) and will pull comps from other nearby homes that sold recently. Once they have completed their review of your home, the comps, and the market, they will furnish you with an appraisal. This will be an estimation of your property's fair market value. For more information: visit http://www.robertjrussell.com

Increasing Seller's Property Value

Understand first of all that there IS a difference between price and value. Price is the amount you are asking for the property. Value is buyer perceived, and this perception of value is influenced by many factors such as location, features, condition, comparison to other purchase option, etc. By attending to details that can have a positive impact on the value, sellers can significantly increase their chance of attracting qualified buyers willing to pay the asking price. Some tips to achieve a positive impact on value are: Perceived size impacts value, even more so than actual square footage. Open floor plans make a room feel bigger than larger spaces with smaller rooms. Showing property that is furniture free, or at reduced clutter, helps to make the space feel bigger. Vacancy increases sale-ability. Property is easier to show and easier to sell, and quicker to take possession of when it is vacant at the time it is offered for sale. Evidence of problems to take possession of the property -- such as encroachments, or tenants who wont allow buyer tours -- negatively impact value. Vacancy also helps the buyer walk through the property imagining ownership. Sellers should remove personal trinkets and family pictures as well as being conveniently absent during a buyer tour. Cosmetics are important. Fresh paint will always add more value than it costs. Clean or new carpet/flooring adds more value than it costs. Landscaping adds more value than it costs. At the very minimum, make the entrance area neat. If you can, add some colorful flowers and new sod. Take care of the obvious! The spot on the ceiling from the roof leak takes thousands of dollars from the perceived value and the offer price. Condition affects value. Do a seller's home inspection to identify and fix the problem BEFORE closing. No point holding up your check a few extra days; plus a failed buyer's inspection could cost you the sale. Buyers will often bargain down your asking price to accomodate for property condition and repairs. If you can, remodel/update the kitchen and master bathroom. These two areas have a big impact on home buying decisions. Strategic renovations impact value and your bottom line. Don't spend more money to renovate the place than you can recapture in value on the sales price. For more information visit: http://www.robertjrussell.com

Real Estate Pricing Checklist

You are anxious to get that sign up, but hold on! Before you set the price on your house, take a look at what's going on. Not only your perspective of things, but from the current mood of the market. The market is not sympathetic to "you need" or "must have" pricing methods. The time spent here may save certain headaches and disappointment that lay ahead if utilizing these strategies in determining your home's current value. The home is worth what a buyer is willing to pay for it in an open market. So please take some time and review the following strategies. What is your Mindset A seller's biggest advantage is time, because the more time you have, the more you can prepare and do your homework. However, if you're in a rush to sell, you're at the mercy of the buyer; you won't have the luxury of preparing or waiting for an ideal one. Do not disclose your timetable to anyone, except your agent. If you can't trust your agent don't do business with them. Your agent has a duty of confidentiality to you per your written contract and will only disclose information you as the seller give permission to disclose. A rushed seller means a bargain for the buyer and savvy buyers can smell panic a mile away. If you're planning on selling in the next 6 to 12 months, you have lots of time to prepare. As odd as it sounds, sometimes people sabotage their own intentions by being too greedy. Don't do it! As you really start looking at homes on the market, you will develop a sense about what is priced low, high, or just right. Doing your homework here will help you truly understand home values and you will be able to set a reasonable price -- a price that buyers know is just right. Tracking neighborhood values - You need to become somewhat of a snoop because you need to learn more about your neighborhood than you ever thought possible. Mood of the Market Markets have moods? They do! You need to judge whether it's a sellers' market or a buyers' market and it could vary by city, state, and neighborhood. Your interest is in your own neighborhood. And when we mention "market", we don't mean the neighborhood grocery store. The market is a catch-all term for all the ingredients that go into the mood of real estate at a given time. It can include such things as interest rates, home inventory, job forecasts, and even time of year. The market shifts constantly, so you need to raise your antennae and tune into what's going on in your neighborhood. Market Mood Checklist Inventory. How much is out there? Assess the inventory of homes in your area by driving around or use online sites to search for sale homes in your neighborhood. Also, real estate agents send out monthly mailers detailing home sales and include all kinds of information, such as number of homes that are on the market. If you live in a desirable neighborhood and there aren't many homes for sale, you will have a clear edge here. However, if you drive around and do see lots of homes on the market and they're not selling very quickly, you might have to reduce the price you had in mind. Days on the market. Review the homes in your neighborhood and their days on market (DOM). Once again, that real estate mailer that you were throwing away for all those years will now come in quite handy. Look up your ZIP code's Zindex on Zillow.com. Look at trends for the past year and assess whether homes were appreciating or depreciating (e.g. homes in your ZIP code were rising by 2% each month for the past 6 months). Unless you see a downward tick in this number, you can probably assume this will continue. If the Zindex in your neighborhood is rising, that means people are in the buying mood. If the Zindex is on a downturn, that means buyers have the upper hand. Check your local news. If Zillow does not provide a Zindex for your home (in which case, Zillow provides you with a tax assessed value), check your local newspaper's real estate section for charts or articles on sales trends in your ZIP code. Jobs, jobs, jobs. Monitor the job situation in your area. Are companies or factories closing down? Not a good sign. But, if "Major ABC Company" in your local town is expanding, kick your heels up because that means jobs, more people, and more housing will be required. This is good. Track neighborhood values. Each week, walk or drive around your neighborhood and begin collecting listing sheets -- you know, those fliers that agents create to list the facts and amenities of a home. It's amazing the knowledge you gain by tracking neighborhood home values and price points. Ideally, find homes similar to yours and pay close attention to the "action" surrounding them. Are they getting lots of traffic? As you collect these listing sheets, put them in a folder and date each sheet. Make note of the list price, sold price, and days on market (DOM). Attend nearby open houses. This is good for a number of reasons: to observe how other properties are showing and to assess their value, to chat up the listing agent (they have loads of info to share), and to feel the "mood" of potential buyers. Once you do this weekly, you will get an excellent feel for home values and what potential buyers are after. After doing this for a couple of weeks, challenge yourself by guessing what homes "go for" as you approach them for the first time. You'll be surprised at how well-trained your eye becomes with some practice and exposure to homes. Tour some homes with your agent. Get out there -- act like a buyer and see what they see! Hear other sellers make mistakes, hover over you, or talk too much or apologize for condition! Price per square foot. If you don't want to go down on your asking price, you could choose to focus on your price per square foot. Show potential buyers how your price stacks up against others in the neighborhood. Visit http://www.robertjrussell.com

FHA Loans in Louisiana

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan could be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply: (Actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin." Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows: (Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God; and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?" The loan was approved.

It's Time to Rethink the Definition of "Home"

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration on Aging, the older population, those persons 65 years or older, numbered 37.3 million in 2006. They represented 12.4 percent of the U.S. population, about one in every eight Americans. By 2030, there will be about 71.5 million older persons, more than twice their number in 2000, or 20 percent of the population. As Bob Dylan's 1964 anthem so aptly noted, "The Times They Are a-Changin," but are builders changing with these times? Are they taking advantage of this social and demographic shift? Or, are they conducting business as usual? Progressive builders understand that for older Americans, a home is much more than a place to live. It is increasingly becoming a smaller part of a larger community of like-minded individuals who seek easy access to products, services and other life-enhancing features that meet their needs and desires as older adults. By creating a community of people and businesses to rally around, particularly when it consists of individuals who may not otherwise interact, older adults flourish; a win-win scenario for builders who had the vision to enhance their bottom lines by filling market space capacity created by the demands coming from a dynamic older American demographic. "We serve our residents with respect and dignity in a comfortable, enjoyable and safe community with opportunities to choose additional services according to need and personal preference," said Bill Kaplan, Co-founder and CEO, Senior Lifestyle Corporation. "To their families we provide a support system and peace of mind in the confident knowledge that their loved ones will be cared for with sensitivity, expertise and compassion." Senior Lifestyle Corporation, creators of premier residential communities and the nation's sixth-largest senior living specialist, help older adults enjoy healthier, more fulfilling lives, and offer independent living for every economic level, from luxury to mid-market to affordable. "Each Senior Lifestyle community serves a unique group of people, and we tailor every aspect -- from menus to activities to wellness programs -- to meet their particular needs," added Kaplan. If the statistics above are not convincing enough for builders to consider adding "senior living services specialist" as an ancillary product, perhaps these numbers will. According to the U.S. Government Accountability Office, the federal government will face a fiscal crisis as the cost of entitlement programs for Older Adults is expected to exceed revenues with the retirement of the baby boomers. From the consumer perspective, AARP data consistently shows 9-in-10 older adults want to, or by necessity, will "age in place" or stay in a home with living services and other like-minded individuals for the remainder of their lives. Furthermore, AARP surveys of younger adults (age 45 and older) also indicate the vast majority of adults (better than 80 percent) want to age in place and expect to receive the services needed to do so. From this vantage point, it only makes sense that builders place greater attention and resources on increasing opportunities for and improved quality of community-based services, in step with consumer trends and demographic shifts. With 71.5 million older adults coming online in 2030, builders need to rethink what the definition of home and what that means to their bottom lines. by Peter Mosca -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright © 2007 Realty Times. All Rights Reserved.

NEW Drugs for Women !

DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. MENICILLIN Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person." BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. NAGAMENT When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him. Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who can handle it.

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REALTOR APPRECIATION MONTH !

REALTOR APPRECIATION MONTH

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FREE BUYERS GUIDE !

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Things to Ponder on......

Can you cry under water? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What disease did cured ham actually have? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Get Paid to Read Emails ? Is it a Hoax or Is It Real ?

They Said WHAT at Church ?

They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: >---------------------------------------------------------- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in t he Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours" courtesy of: http://www.robertjrussell.com

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Only a Southerner.....

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." Only a Southerner knows exactly how long"directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly." Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck , a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines . and when we're "in line"... we talk to everybody! Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. In the South, y'all is singular .... all y'all is plural Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food When you hear someone say, " Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say ,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way. And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time,all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Bless your hearts ... y'a ll have a blessed day - by: cara lenes

How To Avoid The Real Estate 'F' Word -- Before You Buy

The government is waging war against the axis of mortgage evils -- predatory lending, mortgage fraud, subprime loans and non traditional mortgages. The Federal Bureau of Investigations, recently reminded fraud perps they could get 30 years in the slammer and $1 million in fines, or both. On another front, Robert Steel, a U.S. Treasury undersecretary this week told reporters high-risk loan company meltdown is "manageable.. Hopefully, not in the same way as that other war. Bank regulators fresh from the front rewriting rules for non-traditional mortgages seek the same concessions from the subprime sector.. Foreclosures, more and more often spawned by the evil axis, aren't taking any prisoners. But they are taking homes. While some markets revealed higher levels of foreclosure risk last year, others began to show less. Overall, however, the tide generally turned against home owners last year as the risk of foreclosure grew 10.2 percent nationwide, according to San Juan Capistrano, CA-based HomeSmartReports. Responsible Lending, predicting as many as 2.2 million foreclosures in the next few years from the subprime sector alone, says it could get a lot worse. The current strategy is going to cost a lot of homes. One agency says the war will be won not during the forced retreat from defaults, but in the trenches of home buying, before home owners get anywhere near the front lines of foreclosure. Assisting potential lost-home refugees on the brink of foreclosure is a common practice and a strategy employed by many, including NeighborWorks, a national nonprofit organization created decades ago by Congress to bolster community-based revitalization efforts. Its "Tips For Preventing Foreclosure" is based on sound training for counselors as well as support and sage advice for home owners in trouble. If you need help now, the joint NeighborWorks-Homeownership Preservation Foundation hotline at 1-888-995-HOPE (4673) will point you in the right direction. Last ditch efforts are better than nothing. However, to more effectively undermine the forces that converge in foreclosure, NeighborWorks has also been a leader in prevention efforts. Begin digging in long before home owners become home owners and they have a better chance of surviving as home owners, the agency reasons. It's a strategy of credit, financial and home ownership counseling, workshops, seminars and classes and other education used to thoroughly train the troops for battle. Studies prove default and foreclosure prevention by very early intervention is the best defense. NeighborWorks has also deployed "Ten Secrets Every Home Buyer Should Know" as a battle plan for home owners who want to know what they are getting into long before the lender has to take them out. Here's a look at what the war paper offers potential home buyers before they get in over their heads. Get help. Visit a housing counselor at a nonprofit organization where's there's no profit motive or potential for a conflict of interest. You want objective, unbiased information about finances, budgeting and other issues to expect during your initial home buying efforts. You need to learn the ropes, not be pressured with choices. Get ready. To approve your loan lenders look at the 4 Cs of Credit -- credit history, capital, capacity and collateral. The first three involve your finances and determine how well suited you are to repaying the debt. You have little control over the fourth because it considers the value and condition of the home you'll want to buy. The first three require that you take stock of your creditworthiness (get your credit report and go over it with your counselor), build and maintain capital for a down payment, home buying and loan costs as well as other costs associated with home ownership and be certain your income now and in the future can handle the loan you choose. Get money. Look for legitimate loan programs that can help you with special affordable loans or grants for the down payment, closing costs and other fees. The more you can leverage the deal, the better you'll handle the monthly payments. Get a lifestyle. In addition to the costs associated with home ownership it is also a way of life. You'll have to take care of your home and issues surrounding it. Maintenance, value enhancing improvements, grounds upkeep, mortgage management are among the many tasks you may not have now. Be sure you can handle the change. Get shopping around. For everything. In addition to shopping around for the home, likewise shop around for the mortgage, stuff to fill you home, service workers, insurance and any other purchase you can compare from one provider to the next. The change of lifestyle means being a smart shopper. Get money in the pipeline. Once your home work is done you still aren't ready to shop for a home. Get a loan commitment that amounts to a guarantee from a lender that a loan is yours for a set amount and specific terms. Sellers will see you as a serious buyer and the loan will keep you from looking at homes you can't afford. You are still responsible for getting a loan you can afford. Lenders will often lend you as much as your 4 Cs qualify you, but that may not be what you can truly afford. Get a good location. No home is an island. The neighborhood or community is a prime factor in how well your investment performs. Start your search for a home by neighborhood in terms of schools, access to work, school and activities, crime rates and other conditions that make for a good -- or bad -- village. Get an inspection. Don't buy into the seller's home inspection. He or she may be well intentioned, but one of your new lifestyle changes is developing certainty about the decisions you make. Use the seller's inspection to compare against your own, but get your own. It will give you a good idea of the condition of the home and, as such, it's true value. Make your contract contingent upon, among other things, you hiring your own home inspector. Get less pressure. Don't rush through the home buying process. You've waited this long to buy a home, a few more months, even a year isn't going to make a lot of difference, especially now that prices are flat and falling. Take the time to learn your new living style, to scour documents and to get up with issues you don't understand. Larger inventories are also giving you more time to shop around for the home itself. Use the time wisely. Get a clue. Home ownership almost always costs more than you think. Stay on top of savings and safe investments to build a cushion for those unexpected events, emergencies, routine maintenance and repairs. NeighborWorks suggests building an annual emergency home fund equal to at least one mortgage payment and an annual maintenance and repair fund equal to one percent of your home's purchase price. That's over and above the six months of your salary you are supposed to have socked away for life's unexpected events. No, it's not easy, but follow those "secrets" and there's a good chance you'll never have to use the "F" word. written by: Broderick Perkins Copyright © 2007 Realty Times. All Rights Reserved.

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