Monday, March 19, 2007

Only a Southerner.....

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." Only a Southerner knows exactly how long"directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly." Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck , a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines . and when we're "in line"... we talk to everybody! Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. In the South, y'all is singular .... all y'all is plural Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food When you hear someone say, " Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say ,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way. And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time,all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Bless your hearts ... y'a ll have a blessed day - by: cara lenes

Thursday, March 15, 2007

How To Avoid The Real Estate 'F' Word -- Before You Buy

The government is waging war against the axis of mortgage evils -- predatory lending, mortgage fraud, subprime loans and non traditional mortgages. The Federal Bureau of Investigations, recently reminded fraud perps they could get 30 years in the slammer and $1 million in fines, or both. On another front, Robert Steel, a U.S. Treasury undersecretary this week told reporters high-risk loan company meltdown is "manageable.. Hopefully, not in the same way as that other war. Bank regulators fresh from the front rewriting rules for non-traditional mortgages seek the same concessions from the subprime sector.. Foreclosures, more and more often spawned by the evil axis, aren't taking any prisoners. But they are taking homes. While some markets revealed higher levels of foreclosure risk last year, others began to show less. Overall, however, the tide generally turned against home owners last year as the risk of foreclosure grew 10.2 percent nationwide, according to San Juan Capistrano, CA-based HomeSmartReports. Responsible Lending, predicting as many as 2.2 million foreclosures in the next few years from the subprime sector alone, says it could get a lot worse. The current strategy is going to cost a lot of homes. One agency says the war will be won not during the forced retreat from defaults, but in the trenches of home buying, before home owners get anywhere near the front lines of foreclosure. Assisting potential lost-home refugees on the brink of foreclosure is a common practice and a strategy employed by many, including NeighborWorks, a national nonprofit organization created decades ago by Congress to bolster community-based revitalization efforts. Its "Tips For Preventing Foreclosure" is based on sound training for counselors as well as support and sage advice for home owners in trouble. If you need help now, the joint NeighborWorks-Homeownership Preservation Foundation hotline at 1-888-995-HOPE (4673) will point you in the right direction. Last ditch efforts are better than nothing. However, to more effectively undermine the forces that converge in foreclosure, NeighborWorks has also been a leader in prevention efforts. Begin digging in long before home owners become home owners and they have a better chance of surviving as home owners, the agency reasons. It's a strategy of credit, financial and home ownership counseling, workshops, seminars and classes and other education used to thoroughly train the troops for battle. Studies prove default and foreclosure prevention by very early intervention is the best defense. NeighborWorks has also deployed "Ten Secrets Every Home Buyer Should Know" as a battle plan for home owners who want to know what they are getting into long before the lender has to take them out. Here's a look at what the war paper offers potential home buyers before they get in over their heads. Get help. Visit a housing counselor at a nonprofit organization where's there's no profit motive or potential for a conflict of interest. You want objective, unbiased information about finances, budgeting and other issues to expect during your initial home buying efforts. You need to learn the ropes, not be pressured with choices. Get ready. To approve your loan lenders look at the 4 Cs of Credit -- credit history, capital, capacity and collateral. The first three involve your finances and determine how well suited you are to repaying the debt. You have little control over the fourth because it considers the value and condition of the home you'll want to buy. The first three require that you take stock of your creditworthiness (get your credit report and go over it with your counselor), build and maintain capital for a down payment, home buying and loan costs as well as other costs associated with home ownership and be certain your income now and in the future can handle the loan you choose. Get money. Look for legitimate loan programs that can help you with special affordable loans or grants for the down payment, closing costs and other fees. The more you can leverage the deal, the better you'll handle the monthly payments. Get a lifestyle. In addition to the costs associated with home ownership it is also a way of life. You'll have to take care of your home and issues surrounding it. Maintenance, value enhancing improvements, grounds upkeep, mortgage management are among the many tasks you may not have now. Be sure you can handle the change. Get shopping around. For everything. In addition to shopping around for the home, likewise shop around for the mortgage, stuff to fill you home, service workers, insurance and any other purchase you can compare from one provider to the next. The change of lifestyle means being a smart shopper. Get money in the pipeline. Once your home work is done you still aren't ready to shop for a home. Get a loan commitment that amounts to a guarantee from a lender that a loan is yours for a set amount and specific terms. Sellers will see you as a serious buyer and the loan will keep you from looking at homes you can't afford. You are still responsible for getting a loan you can afford. Lenders will often lend you as much as your 4 Cs qualify you, but that may not be what you can truly afford. Get a good location. No home is an island. The neighborhood or community is a prime factor in how well your investment performs. Start your search for a home by neighborhood in terms of schools, access to work, school and activities, crime rates and other conditions that make for a good -- or bad -- village. Get an inspection. Don't buy into the seller's home inspection. He or she may be well intentioned, but one of your new lifestyle changes is developing certainty about the decisions you make. Use the seller's inspection to compare against your own, but get your own. It will give you a good idea of the condition of the home and, as such, it's true value. Make your contract contingent upon, among other things, you hiring your own home inspector. Get less pressure. Don't rush through the home buying process. You've waited this long to buy a home, a few more months, even a year isn't going to make a lot of difference, especially now that prices are flat and falling. Take the time to learn your new living style, to scour documents and to get up with issues you don't understand. Larger inventories are also giving you more time to shop around for the home itself. Use the time wisely. Get a clue. Home ownership almost always costs more than you think. Stay on top of savings and safe investments to build a cushion for those unexpected events, emergencies, routine maintenance and repairs. NeighborWorks suggests building an annual emergency home fund equal to at least one mortgage payment and an annual maintenance and repair fund equal to one percent of your home's purchase price. That's over and above the six months of your salary you are supposed to have socked away for life's unexpected events. No, it's not easy, but follow those "secrets" and there's a good chance you'll never have to use the "F" word. written by: Broderick Perkins Copyright © 2007 Realty Times. All Rights Reserved.